A NEW JOURNEY: Day 1

Ever since I lost around 30 lbs around a year ago, I have been desperate to fight the other 30 that clings to my body with little success.  I'm that person who does a workout for a week or two and then gives up.  My excuses have ranged anywhere from "I really am pretty happy with my body right now anyway" to "Ugh, I'm soooo lazy!".  The former being the cover-up for the later.  This school year I have gazed longingly at my friends with great figures and healthy weights, but haven't moved past the depressed stage.  So, last night I signed up for Weight Watchers Online and this past week was Week 1 of my Women Out Walking challenge.  If you're going to lose weight, you might as well go all out, right?  Those first 30 lbs were happy to go, it's their twin that won't leave without a fight.

Although this blog is mostly just a forum where I can express my ideas and feelings to the world (whether anyone out there is reading or not), it will be the place where I share my thoughts during this 3 month journey of weight loss.  Maybe if I just put some of my feelings and challenges out there, I'll be more motivated to stick to my goals.

Losing weight is far from easy.  It is a battle of emotion and strength.  While trying to lose weight, you really have to strip yourself down to the core of your emotions to find the reasons why you want to lose.  Do you lose weight for health reasons or just to feel better about yourself?  Although my motives are not purely health related, there is a lot of truth to the whole "inner beauty" thing.  Because there are plenty of skinny people who don't like who they are or what they look like.  It really all boils down to whether you are happy with you, not whether others are happy with you.

Join me as I face my body in an epic struggle to get that beach bod we all dream of, or at least something close ;).   I will be sharing some of my attempts at workouts and food planning and I would love to hear of some of your ideas.   Are you currently fighting to lose those extra pounds? What techniques or workouts do you use? Do tell :)

Did God Create Sin?

          Last Wednesday, our small group had a pretty in-depth conversation about this topic, did God create sin.  It’s safe to say that they had this conversation; I didn’t really feel a part of it.  The question we had picked last week to study was Where did the Devil come from and what is his story?  When I was doing my research, somewhere online a person had listed several verses where the Satan is talked about and went on to say that the story of him isn’t from the Bible, but from some other book.  I have yet to find the spot where it tells his story, but, in my NIV Study Bible, the caption under Revelation 12:9 says that the story of the dragon being hurled down to Earth is “not Satan’s original casting out of Heaven, but his final exclusion.”  So, somewhere there must be something that says when he was cast out.

            Anyway, the point being was that then the idea was thrown out that God created Satan, who tricked Eve into sinning, which then resulted in sin in general.  So, the question is asked again, did God create sin?  Since I was unable to share my thoughts at our meeting, I will say them now where no one can interrupt me.  The thought of God intending for us to sin and be condemned is unreasonable.  We know that God loves us unconditionally.  For goodness sake, he let his only son to be abused and killed just for all of us lousy sinners.  That kind of sacrifice only springs from an unfathomable love.   So why would this God that loves us at all times, mean for us to fail?  It doesn’t make sense.  Not to say that we shouldn’t ask the questions, though.  Questioning what we are told and what we read is a great way to study more and dig into the Bible to get the answers we’re looking for.  It doesn’t mean we doubt God, but the more we understand God and the Bible, the easier we can lead others to Christ and answer those difficult questions.   Don’t take what you hear in sermons or in classes as the complete truth.  It may not mean that the person is wrong, but look up the verses, question what you’re heard, and dig into the Word to get the answers.

            Back to Satan, I think that when God created his angels and such, that, like us, he gave them the freedom of thought and decision making.  Although, many think so, God isn’t a dictator.  He didn’t create us so he could boss us around saying, “I’m God.  You must obey me because I could take your life away as quickly as I gave it to you!”  God has no intention of forcing anyone into obeying and following Him.  So the angels had a choice as well.  The story goes that Satan, when in Heaven, got a big head.  He thought he was just as good as God if not better.  Well, God is pretty much as good as it gets and he couldn’t have that kind of treachery in his Heaven, so he cast Satan out to teach him a lesson.  Who knows, maybe God would’ve given Satan a second chance.  He probably would’ve given him a million chances, like he does with us.  But Satan, even though he was punished and sent out of the presence of God, still thought he was better and ever since it has been his mission to destroy God and all of His people.  Except, even Satan, deep down, knows he has no power over God, so he targets the weak, which is us.

            So, did God want Satan to rebel?  No way!  God loves all of his creation, including Satan.  And though God knows what Satan’s fate is, do you think He wouldn’t want Satan to turn away from his pride and follow God again?  God knew what was going to happen because, well, He’s God!  He knows everything!  But He still gives us the choice, which usually means that we’ll find some way to screw it up.  So, technically I guess God did, in a way, create sin, because he created the beings who committed sin.  But I think saying that God created us and created a choice is better way of putting it.  He gave us two paths; one path leads to wonderful, eternal life with Him and the other leads to Hell where all things evil are.  God doesn’t need us to love Him.  He’s just fine on His own, but He willingly offers His love to us and wants us to come to His open arms.  But you can’t just reject your Maker and the King of everything, He’s not gonna let that fly.  Choosing His road has benefits and choosing the opposite of His results in some major consequences.  If I were you, I’d recommend God’s road.  It’s pretty great and completely free of evil, lies, and treachery, which is all that Hell really is: all of the stuff that no one wants.

EXIT

     Droopy, rainy days do not usually make for happy attitudes.  This was the case for me today.

     The morning and early afternoon were fine.  I actually had the best time with my family that I’ve had since my dad’s hospital stay.  We laughed and made the crudest jokes about strokes and heart failure.  But sarcastic jokes are the best kind, right?

     After my youth minister’s ordination, I went to a friend’s house to just hang out and talk.  But our usual funny, sarcastic conversation was replaced by a much more serious discussion, venting about “singleness” and what not.  I love talking with her, even about heavy topics like this one (in our lives anyway).  But, my mood just kept getting worse and worse, like I was carrying a huge weight around on my shoulders.  My stomach was churning and I was late for youth group.

    I hurried over and, just my luck, they had not eaten and had started right on time.  As I slipped in the back, my youth minister had just started a serious topic.  Great.  That was exactly what I needed.  More loaded topics I could pile on.  Why not?  Yeah…bring on the depression!

     I moseyed up to the front to find my friends and, to my dismay, one of the girls in my youth group sat there crying.  The poor girl who had lost her mother not 6 months ago sat mourning over her grandfather who died…on her birthday.  By then I was dry.  No tears to cry for her just gut wrenching pain that never seems to go away anymore.

      My friends and I went to find a spot in the balcony to talk and not play jailbreak with the rest of the youth group.  And, to my great pleasure, they both talked about their boyfriends (or “just friends”) the whole time.  And I sat.  And I stared off into space.  And I tried to focus on anything but all of the crap going on in my life, and in other people’s lives for that matter.

      Then I saw it.  In the darkness of the sanctuary balcony, a beacon gleamed out at me.  Exit.  Bright, red, and inviting it beaconed me.  And I wondered.  What would it be like to exit, to escape from it all?  Though I sound suicidal, that isn’t what I am going for.  But it sounds appealing, doesn’t it?  The sign seemed to say, “Just leave everything behind, Hannah.”  I almost thought it was an evil thing.  But then I realized what God was trying to convey to me through a glowing escape route.

      I can exit.  Why do you think God gave up His son?  So we could roll around in our sin, worry every minute, mourn, cry, and bask in our sorrow?  I don’t think so.  Jesus is our escape.  We can exit this room that holds our sin, shame, and sorrow.  God will take it for us.  He will carry the weight that, quite frankly, we just can not bare on our own.  When we exit, the other side of that door holds the opportunity to love, care, and share with the world the gift of Jesus.  God has great plans for us, but we can’t very well do anything while we sulk under our burdens.  Let me give you some advice…exit.  One word.  Exit.  Exit your sin.  Exit your burden.  Exit your pain and let God reinvent your life.  Find His plan for you on the other side of that door, because I guarantee you His joy is a whole lot more exciting than our depression.

New blog, fresh start.

This blog is actually a continuation of one that I started years ago when I was younger but very eager to share my thoughts.  Now I would like to do the same thing, but share other thoughts about life, not just devotional thoughts that I wrote down.  I just have a lot of ideas swimming around in my head and would love to share my thoughts about my faith, people I encounter, and life in general.  So, if you so dare, take a look into my brain and enjoy!